Classes have consumed me greatly this semester. Instead of keeping me out of the over thinking, it has encouraged my overthinking. I don't like this! I feel I am not living how I want my life to be. It might just be momentary, and sacrifices must be done in order to get greater things ( like graduating finally after more than 5 yrs..), but it definitely does not have a good outcome in me. It has come to my attention that maybe, just maybe, I might not be as hard core as I thought I was....
I have come to question my self if I made the right choice with Architecture, or if I am just filling the blanks.
Before continuing, I suppose I should mention my ultimate dream since I was 12 o so, is/was, I'm not quite sure anymore, becoming a big fashion designer. I never had real huge faith in me, and that has been a main reason why I have not pursued it but, the urge and desire is and will always be there. It hits me every time I see Project Runway, and see other people making their dreams come true.. My same dream. Now, there's even a latin american version of Project Runway and it gets me thinking: Am I still on time of pursuing it? Do I really have the talent to compete with that king of people? Do i have the passion? but, I'm a coward stupid little person and I never do anything about it.
Retuning to Architecture, I just think, I don't give it my all, my more than all,.. I don't feel the passion and I wonder: Am I where I'm supposed to be? I think we all deserve to do for the rest of our lives, something we LOVE and enjoy. I want to do something I feel passionate about, and there's where I doubt whatI've chosen, but, I also doubt if I have it for fashion design. Do I have tha passion to overcomer my lack o confidence in my talent?
I feel I'm living my life like a robot, just doing and doing, but not feeling what I'm doing. I need to change that, but I need to figure out how! There's the hard part... HOW?! Any ideas?
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